They’re called blind spots for a reason

We begin today’s newsletter with a correction. I referenced a story last week about scientists planting a garden in Africa that was subsequently eaten by elephants. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out where I’d heard that story and nothing was coming up on “the Google”, but it was such a good story that I decided to include it anyway to the best of my recollection. 

Fortunately, I have a friend named Kerri who pays attention to a lot of the same stuff I do, and she remembered that it wasn’t elephants – it was hippos. 200 hundred of them! Which not only makes for a way better story but also turned out to be the missing piece I needed to successfully Google the source: this TED Talk by Ernesto Sirolli. It’s a wonderfully told story about why, if you really want to help someone, it’s best to shut up and listen. I hope you’ll check it out. 

Starting with a correction also happens to be the perfect introduction to today’s topic, my final installment in a 4-part series about what I’m learning as I deepen my understanding of racism and white supremacy. Because despite all the tools and the lessons I’ve told you about over the past few weeks, when I find myself in a situation where it’s time to put these things into practice, I screw it up. A lot. I mean, I get it right more often than I used to, but most of the time I still get it wrong. Sometimes I get it so wrong that I wonder why I even bother learning about these things in the first place. 

Last week, the same day I sent you that newsletter about learning to listen, my mother came over and we got into a debate about one thing or another. I started getting frustrated. I knew the thing to do was to stop arguing and listen to her. She wanted to be heard as much as I did. But in that moment, trying to stop myself from doing the same thing I always do when my mother and I disagree felt like sitting in a sauna full of stinging nettle – hot and painfully tingly. I didn’t succeed.

Derek Sivers, a writer, musician, and entrepreneur (and super-cool guy), once astutely pointed out, ‘“If more information was the answer, then we'd all be billionaires with perfect abs.” Knowing what we want does not necessarily result in changes of behaviour. I can learn about how to listen, understand how to listen, and want to be better at listening, but the way I behave is so automatic I don’t even notice that I’m falling into the same old patterns until the conversation’s almost over.

Because I, like all humans, am a creature of habit. 

I’ve read a bazillion books about habits (read: three), but the one that’s stuck with me the most so far has been Good Habits, Bad Habits by Wendy Wood. Here’s why: Wood explains that the human brain likes efficiency. When we learn something new, the brain works on that thing until it’s familiar and can be repeated reliably and consistently. Once the brain has it down it’s like, “got it” and moves all the associated files to the back of our minds where they continue to perform the same actions as needed, only on autopilot. Things like walking and breathing and driving that we don’t even think about anymore, we just do them. 

We learn things, we get good at them, we move them to the back. 

This is how we come to take things in our lives for granted. Our brain is designed to let the every-day routine things fade out of our conscious mind. 

I’d venture a guess that this accounts for racism and white supremacy still being so pervasive, even amoung those of us who believe in equal rights. How we could let it go on for so long without doing anything about it? Answer: Because we can believe in anti-racism, we can understand why it’s important, and we can want everyone to have equal opportunity, but our habits – our learned behaviours – will continue to play out without us even realizing it. As Rachel Rogers said in her town hall for small businesses committed to anti-racism, “They call them blind spots for a reason. You can’t see them!” 

That is, until your environment changes.

Here’s the thing about habits: When there’s a change in the pattern, some kind of new information that interrupts our usual routines, we start paying attention again real quick. Like when you’re driving your usual route home and suddenly there’s a detour. Your brain disengages the autopilot and takes the wheel. 

These moments when we become aware of our behaviour present an opportunity to replace our old habits with new ones. 

I’ve been completing an online “Mobility” class every morning, offered by a company called GMB Fitness. Mobility sounds fancy but it's just stretching. I’m taking a fancy stretching class. It’s been helpful in a lot of ways, especially their 5 Ps approach to improving your fitness. I think it can be applied to learning any new skill or behavior, including anti-racism:

Prepare: “Start with movements that help to get you ready for whatever workout you’re doing.” Read about anti-racism, learn about it. Load yourself up with information that will help you to start changing your behavior.

Practice: “Spend time learning new skills. Focus on better quality of moment rather than high intensity/effort. Allows for better learning and less frustration.” Identify skills you need to become more anti-racist and practice them. You might practice on your own for a while before you try out your new skills on another human. 

Play: “Spend time creatively exploring. Have fun. Play is done best with movements that you’ve learned well in Practice. Work within your current capabilities.” Don’t learn a few things and then position yourself as a racism expert. Put your new skills to work in scenarios that are appropriate given your current abilities.

Push: “Increase the intensity. This is where you feel that you’re ‘working out’. The quality of your movement performance is high, therefore you can ramp up the effort in order to reach your goals.” As you become more comfortable in your skills, you might take on something slightly outside of your comfort zone. Put those new skills to good use.

Ponder: “Evaluate your training session. Think about how you did. Compare it to a previous session or within the session itself and identify what you did well and what needs more work.” The more we reflect, the more we learn, the more we improve. 

Yes, there are days that I wonder why I bother trying to improve at all. Why create? Why push? Why change? Aside from the obvious human rights issues at play here, I’m not sure I have a good answer, really. There are just so many possibilities out there, and I don’t seem to know how not to go after them. 

If that’s you too, then I say go on, get after it.

If not, well then as you were, friend. As you were.

C.

PS. Thank you for sticking with me as I explored these ideas a little. If you found the past few newsletters helpful, I’d love to hear about what stood out to you. 

I’m working away on my end to figure out ways I can be of more help in our community. I look forward to telling you more about that down the road. Exciting things ahead. I’m glad you’re here with me.